Happy

SO in case you were not aware, I came by a while back and deleted five year's of posts.
Oh, I printed them all to keep for the sake of journaling, but for some reason felt compelled to start anew. Didn't want to delete the actual blog, because I follow others and well, I used to have a lot of links on my page. Forgot and deleted most of my sidebar.
I will have to begin again with those, though I know who most of my faves were.
like ..... Skittles, it goes without saying.....
Before this blog I'd had two others.
I didn't like who I was or the direction my life was taking back then. So those were completely deleted.
I have made a lot of changes in my life since then. Some small, some big.
Some that others can see, some that affect only me.
All in all I thought I was doing well.
Not perfect.
I know I need to learn and grow always.
But I thought I was doing alright.
Something snuck up on me and threw me for a loop with such force that it knocked the wind out of me.
An event so disturbing ...

and I realized, someone else, someone who didn't know me, looking in on it all, could certainly have gotten the wrong idea and yes, it might have left a question. A question about me. And I know I don't deserve that.
I've worked hard to shed the bit of trouble I'd gotten in to several years back.
Some might laugh and say 'bit' of trouble?
I know how I have lived my whole life though and the few years of trouble I had compared to the entire spectrum, well, yeah, it doesn't make it entirely ok, but for the most part I've done ok.
I'm also not judging anyone else.
Not my job.
I think we all want to live good lives and be happy. We all have bumps and bruises to live with or get past.
I'm just saying.

Naivete or plain ole dumb ... not sure which led me to not realize.... but this I DO know.
I am surrounded by a lot of kind, loving, honest people who love me and know me.
They know my heart and my spirit.

Enough worries.
Happy!